In less than two weeks time the movie going event of the year, if not the decade will take place, with the release of what director and movie mogul George Lucas promises will be the last part in his Star Whores series, and in Hollywood the crowds are already queing round the block.

Star Whores III: Revenge of the Syphillus represents the end of a remarkable journey for Lucas. Twenty years ago a small science fiction film called Star Whores - or as we must now call it Star Whores IV, A New Grope - was released to low expecations within the film industry.

To the surprise of the studio chiefs the film became a roaring success. In fact to many, Star Whores was the film that destroyed the old Hollywood, seeing it replaced by a series of blockbusters and sequels which were as unimaginative as they were devoid of thought. To fans however, the film marks the start of something which has become more than a movie franchise, it became a way of life. Followed up two years later with Star Whores V - The Enema Strikes Back, a darker, browner tale, the trilogy seemed to be complete when in 1983 Luke Skywanker flashed his lightsabre in Return of the Third Eye.

Vader, the original gimp

Fiveteen years later, and a new trilogy began - a series of prequels Lucas claimed had always been planned, even when that was palpably untrue.

The Phantom Penis however was a poor and woeful piece of filmmaking, slated by critics and fans alike, although it did feature the first full CGI character in a porn movie, Jar Jar Wanks.

Things improved a little bit, but not much with Attack of the Groans in 2002, leaving many people to wonder why Lucas had bothered.

Chewie appelaed to hair fetishists

Money and an enormous ego devoid of original thought seemed obvious answers. And entirely plausible in the absence of any alternative views. So poor have these recent films been that many people are asking we he is bothing with Syphillus, but to the faithful it marks the end of a journey. The most dedicated have been camping outside the Chinese Dragon Theatre for several months, so determined are they to see the film before anyone else.

Others are less bothered, but whatever happens Star Whores has permeated our consciousness, and is an integral part of pop culture. Talk of 'the force' and charcters such as Obi Wank Enobi and everyone knows what you're talking about. Without fail.

Whether this final film is a welcome addition to the cannon remains to be seen, but cum what may, Star Whores looks like it will be part of our lives for a long time to cum.

Posted by damian at May 09, 2005 10:36 PM